Israeli, Palestinian share hopes: Women seek to reconcile adversaries.

Nadwa Sarandah and Robi Damelin have their differences.

Sarandah is a Palestinian who manages a cement factory in East Jerusalem, while Robi Damelin is a native South African who moved to Israel in 1967. Their cultures, religions and national identities are diametrically opposed to one another.

But they share one distinct similarity: They both have had family members killed in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And in their grief, they have come together.

"We’re the spreading the message that we can only resolve conflict through reconciliation," Sarandah said.

Sarandah and Damelin are members of Parents Circles/Families Forum, an organization that seeks to create dialogue among Palestinians and Israelis who have lost a family member in the long-standing conflict. They spoke yesterday to an audience of about 100 in the Museum of Art and Archaeology at the University of Missouri-Columbia.

Sarandah’s sister, Naela, earned master’s degrees from Marquette University and Harvard University as well as a doctorate from John Hopkins University. While walking through Jerusalem in 1999, she was stabbed to death by a Jewish settler.

"I wanted to lose my life as well," Sarandah said. "I couldn’t take it."

Damelin’s son, David, was a student of philosophy and education at Tel Aviv University. Although he was a pacifist, he nevertheless reported for army duty in the Palestinian territories, vowing to treat the people with respect. A sniper killed him, along with nine other Israeli soldiers.

"If this man had known David, he could never have killed him," Damelin said.

The Parents Circle/Families Forum brought them together and united the two to work for an end to violence in the region.

"Because I loved my sister and I wanted to honor her and I love my people, I realized that this is the only way to resolve the Palestinian-Israeli issue," Sarandah said. "It cannot be done any other way."

The organization set up a toll-free telephone service to link Israelis and Palestinians in Israel, Gaza and the West Bank. The service is called "Hello Shalom, Hello Salaam," or "Hello Peace." It has logged 400,000 calls since October 2002. The group also sends members to speak to high school students on both sides of the conflict.

Damelin said her faith in the organization was tested when the Israeli army captured the sniper who killed her son. After "sleepless nights" deciding how to react, Damelin decided to write a letter to the sniper’s family, asking them to join in the cause of reconciliation between both sides.

Damelin read aloud her letter, which said in part, "Nothing is more sacred than human life."

The two women delivered the message to a brother of the sniper, who told them he had never heard of such courage.

The event last night was hosted by the Jewish-interfaith organization Boone Tikkun and co-sponsored by several Muslim, Jewish and peace groups.

"I was determined to have the Jews and the Muslims together in our community and create dialogue," said Iman Labadia, an organizer of the event. "Once we see what they’ve accomplished, everyone can see we also can create that environment here."

After the event, some members of the audience hugged, kissed and handed them flowers.

Audience member Sassi Havav said he was moved by the presentation. "It was very real, not like you get to see on TV," Havav said.

Next week, Sarandah and Damelin head to the West Coast on the final leg of their speaking tour in America.

But Damelin said it doesn’t matter where they go because the message they bring is universal.

"If it’s a mosque, if it’s synagogue or a church, because we talk from the heart it’s not a political agenda," Damelin said.

Reach Jason Rosenbaum at (573) 815-1723 or jrosenbaum@tribmail.com.